What driverless cars will cost us

I was watching this mini documentary about Waymo driverless cars and how they are are impacting the livelihood of cab drivers and also Uber and Lyft drivers in the US. They're only in a few cities at the moment, but they are likely to spread and become far more commonplace. The thought came to me that mostly likely within the next 10 to 20 years we'll be seeing them in KL, too.

Personally, I don't like to chat with the Grab drivers when I get a ride, as I do occasionally. It might be an introvert thing; I also don't want to chat with my hairdresser 😂 But I know people who enjoy chatting with their drivers because some drivers have such interesting stories to tell. This is something we'll lose if driverless services start to take over. 

I started thinking about how taxi drivers are the ones who know the city best and are familiar with all sorts of secrets the city has to keep. We've already lost this with Grab drivers, some of whom are part-timers, but all of whom rely on the GPS system in their Grab app and so I daresay never have to memorise the network of routes in the city nor figure out its complexity. I say that cos I know that relying on Google Maps for navigation has caused me to pay less attention to routes because I haven't had to make myself take note of landmarks and such. The app says, "Turn left," and I turn... if you were to ask me later, I couldn't tell you precisely which junction I'd turned at. So probably only the old-timer taxi drivers know the city very well, the ones who were driving around before the advent of GPS.

If you're a visitor to the city, often the cab driver is the one who's easiest to chat with and to ask for advice about places to go or where to find the best food. You may not feel comfortable or safe approaching a stranger on the street, but it's the most natural thing in the world to strike up a conversation with a cabbie and ask them about their city. Anyway, you also have no reason to think that the stranger on the street would know the stuff you expect the cabbie to know, simply because the cabbie has ferried so many people around to so many places that he has more knowledge about the city than most others. 

All this is the cost of replacing a human's job with automation. I remember seeing another video (can't remember which one now) which talked about how replacing a doorman with doors that open automatically may seem more efficient, but an automated door doesn't notice that they haven't seen eighty-two-year-old Mrs Wong coming and going in five days and worry about her. It won't be able to catch the hand of a child who is about to dash out onto the street ahead of their parents. It won't be looking out for miscreants who are loitering in the street and making the young female residents feel unsafe when they are coming home. 

Those were my examples cos I don't remember what examples the video used, but you get the point. The doorman does more than just stand there and open doors. We put a dollar value on the service or the work done and we think that replacing him would be more cost-efficient, but we have not considered all the other things he does which can't really be quantified -- but which help to enrich the community. 

Similarly, with taxi drivers, we have put a dollar value on the work they do and considered replacing humans with driverless cars because it's a way to make money without having to pay some of that money to a human in the process. But we haven't considered the other ways in which they contribute -- the unseen value that we're going to lose because we didn't learn to appreciate it when we had it. 

Idolatry of the mind and trusting God

I was watching this video by Prof John Lennox and a few things he said struck me. 

First. Lennox states, "The temptation [in the Garden of Eden] surrounded the human satisfaction of three desires: the basic appetite for food, the desire for aesthetic satisfaction, and intellectual desire for human flourishing ('You shall be as God')." The question asked of Eve, "Did God really say...?" was crafted to get Eve to question God's word. And I think the sly, "You won't die," that followed it was really insidious. It insinuates: "Are you sure? Do you really trust that He told you the truth? Maybe He was withholding something good from you."

I see parallels between this and situations when we doubt God because He hasn't answered our prayers in the way we wanted or hasn't given us what we wanted. They may not be inherently selfish prayers, such as praying for healing for ourselves or for a loved one. But when the healing doesn't come, doubt can start to creep in and the whispers start: "Does God really love me? If He does, then why wouldn't He do this for me? Why would He let me continue to suffer like this? Why would He choose to withhold His blessing from me by not granting me this thing?"

Lennox says, "The biggest lesson is that since sin entered the world through human failure to trust God and grasping at independence from God, the way back to God will involve learning to trust Him and His word." And so, "the enemy will do everything he can to undermine your confidence in the word of God and His truth." Which, I remember Timothy Keller saying, part of it is somehow getting us to think or to believe that we know better than God. That we know what our lives are supposed to look like, and this is not how things were supposed to go, so something is wrong and God ought to fix it to be the way I think it should be, the way I want it to be. 

Surrendering is hard, but I think if we are serious about that line in the Lord's Prayer, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven," then it means we do have to reconcile ourselves to His will, even when it doesn't align with our will or what we think is best for ourselves. For so many years I would recite the Lord's Prayer without even thinking about what I was saying... but really, if we are praying that God's will be done on earth, that also means God's will be done in my life and by extension, it means my will might not get done. Urgh. No one likes to think about that, I know. 

Second. John Lennox said that for highly educated or highly knowledgeable and/or intellectual people, the danger would be idolatry of the mind. Why? Because we can come to depend on our mind, our arguments, our ability to rationalise and reason things out, rather than depending on God. The contrast is clear: "[Idolatry] is where I trust my mind and my intellectual ability and then I use God when I get stuck. Christianity is when I trust God and use my mind." 

He used the example of King Solomon to whom God gave great wisdom but who, despite all his wisdom, still made poor decisions, pursuing power, wealth, and foreign alliances, securing the latter through hundreds of wives and concubines. As I was thinking about this, it struck me that although God granted Solomon wisdom, the wisdom that Solomon ended up using was his own and not God's. What I mean is, when he used his wisdom, he was using rational thinking (having more allies = better protection) which is a human kind of wisdom; he wasn't being guided by God's wisdom. 

Paul wrote in the New Testament that "the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom" (1 Cor 1:25), referring to the idea that it seemed foolish to believe that Christ, who had been sentenced to a painful death as a criminal and therefore appeared utterly wretched and powerless in human eyes, could possibly be the Saviour of all mankind. God's wisdom often does look like foolishness because "we live by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor 5:7) so sometimes things just don't make sense if we try to reason them out through a human lens. 

I felt personally convicted when Lennox talked about idolatry of the mind because, well, I also like to pride myself on my intellect and my logic and my ability to rationally reason things out. It's a good question to ask myself, the question Lennox posed: Do I trust God and use my mind, or do I trust my mind and use God? I often go back to that verse about walking by faith, not by sight, and remind myself that what I see is not what all there is. Therefore, if I base my deductions and conclusions on only what I see and what I know, it may very well be a flawed equation. 

One example I've used when talking with friends is when a friend lamented that she is a bit too old to be in the job market because she's in her late forties and the conventional wisdom is that companies don't like to hire people this age because they'd have to pay a higher salary compared to hiring someone with less experience. I told her not to look at statistics and probabilities because that is human wisdom, but we need to account for the unseen hand of God and trust that He will open doors for her to be where He wants her to be. 

Some people might think I'm being naïve or too idealistic. But I absolutely do believe that if God wanted you to have that job, even if it doesn't make logical sense, you will have that job. I'm not saying the job will drop from heaven or that you won't have to apply for it and interview for it just like you would with any other job. But I'm saying that if we really believe that God has a plan for our lives and has written each day of our lives in His book before we even came to be (Psalm 139:16), we have to remember that He's working behind the scenes, and trust Him to do His thing. Not just look around us and see all the obstacles, as Elisha's servant did in 2 Kings 6. The servant was full of fear because the king had sent a great army to surround the city, trapping Elisa and his servant inside. But when the servant's eyes were opened, he saw that there were horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. So... we live by faith, not by sight. We don't see the chariots of fire, but we have to have faith that they are there. That God is there. He confounds human wisdom. Trust Him, not trust my mind, my abilities, my knowledge, or whatever else. 

Salad experiment... and the cost of eating healthy

• One baby romaine lettuce 

• One-quarter pack of pea sprouts (roughly 37.5g)

• Half pack of cherry tomatoes (roughly 137.5g) (quite a few more tomatoes than in picture lol) 

• One small can Ayam brand sweet corn (140g)

• One tub Mézete Baba ghanouj (60g) - this replaced any salad dressing

• Croutons

I think I got a decent balance of flavours. The sweet corn and tomatoes for a little bit of sweetness and the baba ghanouj for some tartness. 

In terms of nutrition, the baba ghanouj provided 4g protein and some dietary fibre (also 4g) but most fibre would have been from the romaine lettuce, pea sprouts, sweet corn and tomatoes. I thought of adding hard-boiled eggs for added protein but was too lazy to cook them 🫣 

As far as cost goes, I got the pea sprouts at 50% off but still, this isn't a cheap salad by any calculation, when you consider that the baba ghanouj cost about RM15 on its own. Then factor in all the other ingredients... definitely more than RM25 in total.

Chicken burger with real chicken 😂

A few days ago, I posted about cooking the drumsticks and chicken thighs in the air fryer. That gave me an idea: I could air-fry a boneless chicken thigh and make a burger with it. Healthier than using a commercially-made frozen burger patty, right? 

So I tried it, and ta-dah! This was the result. It was yummy! 

I couldn't find boneless thighs in the Village Grocer near me, so I bought "chicken chop" instead, which is basically a deboned whole chicken leg. I prepared the chicken the same way and cooked it for the same amount of time. 

The burger has: 

• mayonnaise

• tomato sauce (ketchup)

• butter (on the bun) 

• dill pickles/gherkins

• a slice of cheddar cheese

• baby romaine lettuce leaves

Recommended nutrient intakes

I got curious about this issue because I watched a Facebook reel which said most Americans are consuming more than the recommended daily intake of protein, and that excess protein can actually harm cardiovascular health -- it contributes to build-up of plaque in arteries, which can lead to heart attacks and strokes. 

According to the US Department of Agriculture, every 100g of cooked skinless chicken thigh contains 24.6g of protein, and 100g of eggs contains 12.6g of protein. Fun fact, about 60-65% of the egg's weight comes from the egg white and a 2023 study found that "protein content in the egg white is 10.9% w/w and 15.9% w/w in the egg yolk" ("w/w" meaning "weight on weight, a measurement used in chemistry)... so there is slightly more protein in the yolk, but not by much. 

One chicken thigh varies in weight depending on size, of course. I was in the supermarket today and chicken thighs were sold in packs of two, which ranged from 296g per pack to 432g per pack. So one thigh is about 150g to maybe 215g depending on size. I usually have one thigh with lunch every day (in addition to vegetables and a bit of rice). So that would be at least 36.9g of protein at the lower estimate of weight.

Based on my research, it seems that Grade A or large eggs in Malaysia are about 60-70g each depending on supplier. So if you eat 2 eggs a day, you're getting between 15.12g to 17.64g of protein, if my calculations are correct. Let's go with the lower number, to be conservative. So one chicken thigh + 2 eggs = at least 52g of protein a day.

General protein intake recommendations are at least 0.8g of protein daily per kg of body weight to prevent deficiency. I definitely weigh more than 41.6kg. Hmmm. The Mayo Clinic adds that people over 40 or 50 need more protein to prevent losing muscle mass, also known as sarcopenia, which tends to come with aging (I assume this applies to sedentary and non-athletic people; the article didn't specify). They recommend 1-1.2 g of protein per kg.

Camembert cheese, pictured above, is a cheese I like. I sometimes eat it with crackers or wafers as a snack. One block of cheese is 125g and contains 22.5g of protein. Sometimes I can eat like one-third of a block at one go. That would be... 7.5g of protein. 7.5g added to the 52g of protein a day that I already calculated earlier is 59.5g... a bit closer to what I should be getting. 

Nutrient intake is tricky because it is measured by the weight of the food, which makes sense from a scientific viewpoint, but when we buy food we generally think of bunches or pieces (biji!), not weight. The World Health Organisation recommends consuming 400g of fruits and vegetables daily, but what does 400g even look like? One pack of shiitake mushrooms from Jaya or Village Grocer is 150g and one pack of baby spinach leaves is 100g, I know that much. I definitely cannot eat a whole pack of mushrooms and baby spinach leaves in a day. How could anyone possibly reach the 400g requirement? 

I also don't know how many grams four slices of papaya or quarter of a dragon fruit are -- things that I quite often eat. Working in the dark here. 

Air-fried chicken drumsticks recipe

Discovered an absolutely delish way to airfry chicken drumsticks (or thighs). 

Marinade with 

• Onion powder

• Garlic powder

• Salt

• White pepper

• Oregano 

• Mayonnaise (apparently it makes the chicken stay juicy and tender)

• Optional: Nutmeg powder (I used it because I had it) 

Airfry 10 mins, flip drumsticks airfry another 10 mins. 

I did not BELIEVE they could be so delicious from something so simple. Not crispy but sooooooo yummy. I later tried this with chicken thighs too, as I prefer thighs to drumsticks. Still worked a charm -- pic as evidence 🤣 (I know it is not a great pic... I couldn't be bothered with plating beautifully cos I was eating the thigh by itself, with no other accompanying dishes 😂) 

AI slop is permeating the Internet and nobody is noticing

I started reading on Wattpad sometime last year, drawn to GroveltoHeA's stories. But recently I've noticed that so many of the Wattpad stories (by other authors) are starting to have the same staccato cadence of writing: with just one or two sentences per paragraph, as if a paragraph cannot hold a full thought. 

It's like these authors are all writing the same way. There's no variety, no distinctive way of recognizing one author's style from another. It's giving AI, and it's very disappointing. I mean, I don't know for sure if they are using AI or not, but it doesn't make sense for everyone to be writing the same way all of a sudden.

I also see this in a lot of shared Facebook posts -- the human interest stories. But what is scary is that no one seems to be noticing. I saw people in my reading groups commenting, "Oh, this was a good story" but could you not see that the writing was so stilted and canned? 

What this is telling me is that people can't tell good writing from bad. And the people that can tell are slowly being "trained" not to notice, because guess what? When you read the same type of thing often enough, it becomes normal and your brain stops telling you that hey, this piece of writing isn't up to the usual standards, because the "usual standards" have slipped down. 

And, AI is just going to continue spotting out more of the same, because AI is trained on stuff posted on the internet, so AI will scrape Wattpad and then be all like, "Yes, this confirms the pattern! This is desirable!" and then we are all screwed. 

This is all very depressing to me. Writing is supposed to be a creative endeavour. Like all forms of art, it's about self-expression, giving form to your thoughts and feelings and ideas. You express yourself in a way that is unique to you. The way you write, your voice, is personal. The idea that a piece of writing produced by AI can be just as good is antithetical to the whole point and reason for writing. 

When breakfast looks super presentable hehe

Very proud of this breakfast, so must post! Hahaha. I took a bite of it before I realised that, hey it looks quite impressive & Instagrammable, should take photo 🤣

Had time this morning due to the Hari Raya Aidilfitri holiday, so I put this together. Poached egg, avocado, and "herbs & spices" cream cheese spread on buttered sourdough bread. 

I used a shortcut for poaching the eggs: Fill a medium-sized bowl halfway with water, crack a raw egg into the water. Microwave for 1 min 20 secs (timing depends on your microwave and how done you want your yolk to be; it took a bit of experimentation to discover the perfect timing for mine). Scoop out the egg and serve. 

This Arla brand is the cream cheese spread I used. I like the tanginess and that it doesn't just taste like cheese, if that makes sense? It doesn't taste sweet, more savory. 

Loved the breakfast, 10/10 would do again. If only all mornings could be this leisurely! 

I'm in my cooking era

Today, I: 

• Googled whether baby spinach leaves are safe to eat raw... while eating them raw (with buttered sourdough bread and garlic & herb cream cheese spread)

• Spent some time reading up on the difference between poached eggs and coddled eggs

• Watched videos about how to make poached eggs

• Tried making a poached egg in the microwave (fill a medium-sized bowl with water up to halfway, crack an egg into it, microwave for about 1 minute 20 secs... I tried 2 mins first and it was way overcooked, then did another for 1 min 10 secs and it was slightly undercooked) 

• Watched videos on how to make miso soup 

• Watched a video by a Japanese chef (speaking English) on how to identify if store-bought miso paste contains dashi pre-mixed into it, or is sweetened

• Watched videos showing how to cook Japanese curry in the Instant Pot using store-bought cubes of roux (I have a Philips pressure cooker, not the Instant Pot, but I'm pretty sure the pressure cooking function works the same way on both)

• Asked a friend whether the extra virgin olive oil I'd bought was suitable to be used for cooking food in the air fryer 

• Looked at various brands of hand blenders on Shopee because I want to make pumpkin soup and don't want to have to wash a whole blender (I do have a bullet blender, which I've never used 🙈)

• Put off the decision about buying the hand blender cos it's not urgent and I literally just bought a mini 1.6L Cornell multicooker and the Ninja Crispi air fryer like three weeks ago. How many gadgets does one need, anyway? (All of them!!!!)

• Did NOT cube and airfry the butternut squash that I had planned to cube and airfry, because I didn't feel hungry so I skipped dinner 

Tried & tested: Cooking frozen salmon in the microwave

I got the idea for this when I bought this prepacked salmon, complete with herbs and cherry tomatoes and butter and all. It's frozen -- all you need to do is pop it into the microwave for 4 or 5 mins and viola! It's ready to eat. 

After I tried it, I thought: I'm sure I could make my own. If salmon can be microwaved without thawing first, I can buy my own salmon slices, marinade them, then freeze them... and when I want to eat them, I can just take one out and microwave it, and it should work the same way. 

Well, I'm happy to announce that it did work the same way 😂

Microwaved frozen salmon

Marinade salmon fillet with salt/light soy sauce, pepper, and a dash of Worcestershire sauce. Chuck into freezer. 

When you need a quick meal, take salmon out of freezer, rub rosemary powder and dill flakes onto the frozen fillet, and place in a microwave-safe dish. No need to defrost!!

Place a cube from of a stick of garlic & herb butter on top of the salmon fillet. Pop in the microwave on medium heat for 2 minutes. 

Turn over and microwave on medium heat for another 1.5 mins (depends on the thickness of the fillet). 

Yes, there is such a thing as too much cheese

I made quiche again yesterday and this time I discovered that you can definitely have too much cheese in a dish, something which I did not believe before 🤣 So it is overly salty and the cheese taste is overwhelming. Oh well... still edible, as Em says, but this will teach me not to be greedy lol. 

I don't actually measure out my ingredients except for the 6 large eggs. I go by packs -- one pack of mushrooms, one-and-a-half packs of baby spinach leaves -- I put in nearly two packs of cheese, so now I know one pack should be sufficient. 

And I forgot to layer the container with baking paper first because I was so focused on putting down my layers of ingredients. Luckily it's glass and therefore should be easy to wash. If metal, once any melted cheese gets stuck to it in the baking process, that would be a pain and a half. 

Microwave cooking: Quick & easy

Tonight I nuked some bacon bits in the microwave for 50 seconds (I put them in together with the dinner roll buns -- both were from the fridge -- nuked the buns for 20 seconds to warm them up, then took the buns out and decided the bacon bits probably needed a bit more cooking, so popped them back in for another 30 seconds). Added the bacon bits to the sandwich that I assembled with mayonnaise, streaky beef brisket cold cut, and lettuce leaves. It was super tasty! 10/10 will do again, maybe without the streaky beef. I usually add dill pickles to my sandwiches also, but left them out this time.

Two nights ago I learnt that you can microwave salmon and cook it super fast and easy that way, even if it is frozen salmon. Win! 

I don't like cooking that requires a lot of prep (chopping vegetables, etc) and a lot of steps. But I also need to eat reasonably balanced and nutritious meals. During MCO I learnt that you can microwave broccoli with 3 tbsp of water for 4 mins, toss with butter and serve, and it is delicious! I would eat a whole head of broccoli a day (as part of my lunch) to fulfil my daily fibre quota. 

I love my microwave... it's the most used appliance in my kitchen 🥰 I love that clean-up is minimal and I don't need to stand over a hot stove and watch the food to make sure it doesn't boil over or get charred or whatever else that can go wrong with stove-top cooking. 

I think I have read too many romance novels

Can we talk romance plotlines for a second? The billionaire wants a kid but he wants to conceive it the old-fashioned way... Which billionaire would leave that much up to chance? You could end up having sex for years with no baby to show for it! He's much more likely to opt for IVF imo. Extract the eggs, provide the sperm, pay the lab guys to ensure there's a viable embryo, and then get her to carry the baby to term and give birth. He has all the money, he can afford IVF. He'll want to ensure he gets the kid he needs in order to secure his inheritance or whatever. 

Speaking of which, I always wondered if those types of clauses in the grandfather's will could be enforced. You know the ones: grandfather requires grandson to be married within six months in order to inherit, or all the money and other assets will be donated to charity. Surely this could be challenged in court. It seems absolutely bonkers to me. It's not like the assets are held in a trust; that would be different, the trustees would have to abide by the parameters of the trust but when it's just a stipulation in the will, can it be upheld? 

And finally, the trope where "I hate her, so to get my revenge against her, I'll force her to marry me." Err hello are you thinking quite clearly? You hate her but you want to legally tie yourself to her and see her face across the breakfast table every morning? What??? I think it's more that you hate yourself. You might need therapy, boyo.

Crustless quiche

I generally don't like cooking, especially over a stove with open flame (very hot ok! Perimenopause is making me hot enough!). So I like short-cuts and easy recipes with very few steps. 

I also really love eggs. 

Recently, I ordered mini quiches from a friend who's between jobs and was baking as a way to make some money. Then I remembered that quiches are -- theoretically -- pretty simple to make. 

So I looked up a bunch of recipes and compared them, watched some YouTube, and then decided how I wanted to make this quiche. The game changer for me is baking it in an oven-safe borosilicate glass container (1.5L). Why? Because once the quiche cooled, I could pop the lid onto the container and shove it into the fridge for easy storage! Who says quiches always have to be baked in a round pie dish or round pan? 

Also, I opted for a crustless quiche because that removed one step from the preparation process, even though I could have used frozen pie crust or frozen puff pastry. And I decided to leave the ingredients as layers instead of stirring them up in the egg & milk mixture.

The quiche turned out super yummy and I was very pleased with myself! Very easy to assemble and make. 

Crustless quiche 

• 200g shredded cheese (I used a bag of Emborg "3 cheese bake", which is a mix of mozzarella, gouda, and red cheddar)
• 150g sliced shiitake mushrooms
• 100g baby spinach leaves
• Bacon bits
• 6 large eggs
• 250ml (1 cup) milk

Preheat oven 180°C

1. Slice the shiitake mushrooms. Place in bowl with two or three tablespoons of water. Microwave 1.5 mins then stir, then microwave another 2 min (adjust time depending on how much mushrooms you use)
2. Line the 1.5L borosilicate glass container with baking paper
3. Place ingredients in the container. First layer: Baby spinach leaves
4. Second layer: Mushrooms
5. Third layer: bacon bits
6. Fourth layer: Baby spinach leaves (actually you can put just one layer of spinach, but I wanted to have 2 cos I wanted more fibre)
7. Sprinkle the shredded cheese on top
8. In a separate bowl, whisk 6 large eggs & 250ml (1 cup) of milk. Add pepper and if you have mustard, a dollop of mustard. (I didn't add salt because the bacon bits were salty, but if you omit bacon then add salt to the egg & milk mixture as well)
9. Pour the eggs & milk mixture into the borosilicate glass container with all your layers. Give a little shake to help the mixture to settle
10. Bake at 180°C for 35-45 mins (depends on your oven and how many eggs you used)

Theology course: Week 10 reflection

Following on from last week’s class about the heresies surrounding the doctrine of the Trinity and the Incarnation of Jesus, this week’s class was about the orthodoxy of the creeds (like the Apostle’s Creed and the Nicene Creed). This one was sort of a history lesson and explained how the early church settled on the fundamental doctrines that are deemed correct, which believers all around the world agree on today.

It was interesting to me to find out that Christians only experienced sporadic persecution in the first 300 years AD. During this time, Diocletian was the emperor of Rome. He decided that Rome was too vast to be ruled by a sole ruler, and separated it into four sections, two in the east and two in the west. The east would have one emperor, and the west another. He appointed Maximian as emperor of the West with the title of “Augustus”; Constantius was appointed “Caesar” (a.k.a. deputy emperor). Maximian was to watch over Italy, Sicily, and Africa, while Constantius was to watch over Gaul, Spain, and Britain. Diocletian himself also took the title of “Augustus” as emperor of the East, aided by Constantius who was appointed “Caesar”. Diocletian watched over Thrace, Asia, and Egypt, while Constantius watched over Gaul, Spain, and Britain. (All this info from Encyclopaedia Britannica; the lecturer didn’t really explain this. I didn’t understand how the titles “Augustus” and “Caesar” were connected until I read the Britannica entry. Also, until this lesson, I never knew “Caesar” was a title and not part of Julius Caesar’s actual name ::facepalm::)

Although Diocletian ordered Christians to be persecuted in four edicts from 303-304, this was mainly carried out in the eastern parts of the empire where he was emperor. It is said that Constantius chose not to enforce Diocletian’s edicts against the Christians and “demolished some churches but did not execute believers”; and some members of Constantius’ family might even have been Christians. Constantius became Augustus of the West in 305 when Maximian abdicated.

Constantine the Great was Constantius’ son and took over from his father when his father died in battle in 306. But there was civil war as Diocletian’s successor had named someone else emperor of the West and a third person, Maxentius the son of Maximian, wanted the throne, too.

This is how Constantine purportedly became a Christian: on the eve of the Battle of the Milvian Bridge against Maxentius in 312, he reportedly saw a cross of light in the sky with the words “In this sign, conquer,” and that same night, he dreamt that Christ instructed him to mark his soldiers’ shields with a symbol representing the first two Greek letters of the word “Christos”. He did so, and won the battle decisively to become the emperor of the West.

Thereafter, he attributed his victory to the Christian God and became a convert; in 313 he drew up the Edict of Milan to legalise Christianity, thus ending the persecution of the Christians and returning any property which had been confiscated from Christians during the earlier persecutions. Eventually Constantine took over the East from the reigning emperor too and then reunited the whole empire in 324, establishing Constatinopole as its capital.

According to the lecturer, Constantine was interested in ensuring that the church was united and orderly, not divided. He felt that discord among Christians regarding doctrine and theological teachings did not just threaten the community of believers, but the peace of the kingdom. So he took action by calling bishops together to discuss the main issue of Arianism (which was one of the heresies mentioned in last week’s lesson: that the Son of God, Jesus, was the first created being, created with a semi-divinity to become the instrument through which the rest of creation was called forth).

Bishops came from Asia Minor, Syria, Palestine, and Egypt, but also some from North Africa and even from outside the Empire. It is said there were around 200-300 bishops altogether. They were welcomed as the emperor’s guests, their travel, lodging, and other expenses covered by Constantine. This gathering of the bishops became the first ecumenical council, the Council of Nicaea in 325 and it set a precedent for all the other Councils that came later. In total there were four Councils:

1. Council of Nicaea (AD 325), convoked by Emperor Constantine
2. Council of Constantinopole (AD 381), convoked by Emperor Theodosius I
3. Council of Ephesus (AD 431), convoked by Emperor Theodosius II
4. Council of Calcedon (AD 451), convoked by Emperor Marcian & Empress Pulcheria

Each of these councils discussed specific doctrinal issues and came up with authoritative decisions on what was right. This is how we got the Nicene Creed – it was formulated by the Council of Nicaea as a statement of belief to encompass all the fundamental points of doctrine. The Council of Constantinopole expanded the Nicene Creed, adding a section about the Holy Spirit, making it the Niceno-Constantinopolitan Creed.

The lesson did go into each of the four councils and the heresies or controversies discussed in each one, but I don’t feel like getting into that here. I was surprised that the councils came about due to the intervention of imperial power; and once the controversies had been decided, the person who had been the main proponent of that particular heresy was often exiled. I suppose, as far as the former is concerned, there had to be someone to put things in motion and you needed someone with authority who could gather people together – I daresay not many bishops would want to say no to the emperor when invited to participate in a council like this; it was probably an honour to be invited.

I was also surprised that even though the councils were decisive, this didn’t always solve the problem. Like, after the Council of Nicaea rejected Arianism as a heresy, this teaching persisted and had to be discussed again at the Council of Constantinopole. I was also a bit shocked that the decision made at the Council of Calcedon caused a schism between the Oriental Orthodox church (Coptic, Syriac, Armenian) and the Roman Catholic church. The issue discussed at that council was of the dual nature of Jesus (fully man and fully God), and it didn’t seem to me that any proper church could dispute this.

So I looked it up. The lecturer had mentioned the split but didn’t say why it had occurred. Apparently it was because of the way the document was worded. The bishops had composed a Definition of Faith, which became known as the Definition of Chalcedon. Part of it stated that Jesus is

…to be acknowledged in two natures, inconfusedly, unchangeably, indivisively, inseparably; the distinction of natures being by no means taken away by the union, but rather the property of each nature being preserved, and concurring in one person and on Subsistence, not parted or divided into two persons, but one and the same Son…

Apparently, the Oriental Orthodox bishops did not like the “in two natures” wording because they felt it was too close to the Nestorian heresy – which says that the divine Son of God lived in the man Jesus of Nazareth, inhabiting Jesus’ body like a temple (remember, I said in last week’s reflection that it sounded like demon possession lol). This heresy claimed that Jesus the man and Logos the Son of God were two separate persons joined in a union. So, as far as I can tell, the Oriental Orthodox bishops accused the Chalcedonian council of heresy themselves and the whole thing caused a huge misunderstanding and falling out. Ah, humans. When you’re actually both on the same side but cannot even see it because you’re too busy arguing over minutiae.

Theology course: Week 9 reflection

The theology course ended last week with our last class. I was buried in work (sooooooo much marking to do) so here I am catching up with my reflections. Just need to finish things up so that I have a proper record of what I learnt and process what was taught.

In week 9, the topic was “Trinity in the early church”. The main focus of this lesson seemed to be the various heresies surrounding the doctrine of the Trinity and the Incarnation. The lecturer explained that these heresies arose because the Jewish believers were trying to find ways to explain the concept of Jesus being both fully God and fully man in a way that would be acceptable to other Jews.

Why? Because the Jews believe that there is only one God: This is embodied in the ‘shema’, a prayer that practicing Jews recite twice daily. The opening of the ‘shema’ is based on Deut 6:4 – “Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one.” Therefore, the early church needed to find a way to reconcile this concept of having one God with the concept of Jesus’ divinity and the experience of the Holy Spirit.

The lecturer said that in trying to reason things out, sometimes certain aspects became oversimplified and therefore ended up overemphasizing certain concepts at the expense of others, leading to heresies (otherwise known as “ajaran sesat”). I was surprised to find that heresies would arise from people earnestly trying to make sense of the trinity – that is, people who were not intending to lead others astray. Then again, I suppose every cult founder starts their cult in earnest, believing that they are right and that their teachings are the “true truth”. But I find myself a bit uncomfortable knowing that you can be so earnestly wanting to please God and yet going in utterly the wrong direction until become heresy summore.

Obviously, in the days of the early church, there was no recognised Scripture (or uniform canon). They had the OT, of course, but the NT didn’t exist yet. Giving us some background, the lecturer said that letters were floating around from various apostles and would be copied by hand to be used in churches other than the ones they had been sent to. Different churches would refer to different letters and documents.

And since the Church was a loose network of communities with no centralised authority, there was no institution or body to refer to, no authority who could pronounce whether a particular doctrine was correct or incorrect. You could have a very charismatic teacher who was able to persuade many to believe his unique interpretation, and there would be no one to challenge him. (Actually, isn’t it the same today? e.g. with the Prosperity Gospel and the ‘Name it and claim it’ crowd? I don’t see anyone challenging them or calling them out for wrong teachings, either...)

So the various church leaders were sort of left to figure out things on their own. I guess this explains the tone of many of Paul’s letters, where he admonishes the church leaders for doing the wrong things or allowing the wrong things among their congregation, and tells them what they should be doing instead.

Since Christianity was spreading primarily in the Greco-Roman world at that time, people naturally tried to interpret Christian doctrines and concepts through the lens of the culture of the day, i.e. using Greek philosophy from the three major schools: Plato, Aristotle, and Zeno (Stoicism).

There were two main paradoxes that caused various heresies to sprout up throughout the Roman Empire:

1. The Trinity: How can God be both one and three?
2. The Incarnation: How can Jesus be both fully God and fully man?

It was interesting learning about the heresies, but I wasn’t sure why it was necessary to know. Like, one of the heresies of the Trinity was “Modalism/Sabellianism” which posited that God is not three distinct persons, but one person who reveals himself in three different modes. That is, he can “take on” and “put off” the role like an actor on a stage. Thus, in the OT, he acted/appeared as the Father, then in the Gospels, He acted/appeared as the Son, and after Pentecost, He acted/appeared as the Holy Spirit.

Although this teaching successfully avoided the concept of having three gods and was able to show that the Christians only worshipped one God, it was rejected as a heresy because it contradicted the Gospels, such as when Jesus prays to the Father – obviously they are separate beings then – and the incident where the Spirit descended upon Jesus at His baptism. Plus, if this teaching were true, that would mean the Father also suffered on the cross, since the Father and Son are the same, and then the idea of God sending His only begotten Son as a sacrifice for sin would be negated.

One very interesting thing the lecturer said was that this is similar to the ‘water’ analogy often used to explain the Trinity, and therefore that analogy is actually inaccurate. You know the one; that water has three forms, namely water vapour, ice, and liquid, so God likewise takes on three forms. But water can’t be two or three forms at the same time, which means we’re saying that God morphs or moves from role to role within the Trinity, which is… heresy. I was flabbergasted cos this is the most common analogy used for the Trinity that I know of!

Someone in my class suggested using an analogy of an egg: You need the shell, the egg white, and the egg yolk to be an egg. You can’t have an egg without having all of them together. I think that was kinda smart but I also find it funny because… well, an egg haha. Eggs get eaten lolol.

Anyway, there were other heresies involving Jesus being “an ordinary man of extraordinary virtue” who was ‘adopted’ by God into divine sonship, or Jesus being the first and greatest created being, a sort of semi-divine creature, by which the universe and other beings were created. And outlandish ones like Jesus only appeared to be human; His body was an illusion and his suffering on the cross was a “divine charade” (based on the belief that God, who is holy, could not have a human body, because the material body is corrupt and weak and could not house a divine being). These were all most obviously false, so they were not interesting to me at all.

I suppose it is good to explore the known heresies and to understand why they were rejected as heresies, so as to know what is the actual correct doctrine. Like, the heresy of Nestorianism, which says that the divine Person dwelt in the man Jesus of Nazareth, “like a temple”. (Actually, it sounds more to me like a demon possession…) The suggestion was that there were two separate persons – the Son of God and the son of Mary – joined in a union, and this is how Jesus remained fully man but at the same time fully God. But the problem with this concept was that if the human Jesus was the temple, then the human Jesus was the one who suffered and died on the cross, and the Son of God did not die, thus it negated the sacrifice of God’s only begotten Son to save the world from sin. So we can understand the complexity of trying to explain the two paradoxes mentioned earlier, and yet at the same time ensure that the foundational truth was not lost or watered down.

Christmas doodles: Gnomes

Practicing drawing some gnomes. I promised Emmy I would send her a watercolour Christmas card, so now I have to follow through 😂 

Learned how to draw them from Emma Jane Lefebvre's watercolour tutorial on Youtube, but made them fatter cos I think they're cuter when they're round 😆 I might experiment with a watercolour of a gnome with the black outline, and one without (the way Emma did hers) and see which one I prefer. Stay tuned. 

Thoughts on shopping

I was thinking about the lure of shopping and I think it is that shopping makes life exciting. Life can be very mundane, like "same shit, different day" and shopping brings something new into your life. You're excited to try out the product or go out in the new dress. For a brief moment, there's something to look forward to. It brings that little bit of excitement into a kind of boring and plodding life. I daresay most of us do have times when life feels exactly like that -- boring and plodding, and set to go on that way for eternity. I sometimes wonder if I can take 30-40 more years of the same (assuming average life expectancy). 

We always look at shopping from the perspective of "retail therapy", and having used it as a coping mechanism myself, I do agree that this is valid too -- but I think that's too much of a generalisation. There are definitely people who are spending in unhealthy ways to soothe themselves or to build a sense of security surrounded by things they possess. But if you don't have an unhealthy relationship with shopping, then maybe it isn't "retail therapy" (my definition: doing it to make you feel better) but maybe it's just... needing a small burst of excitement to remind yourself that you're alive and that there's something to look forward to. 

Theology course: Week 8 reflection

This week’s lesson was sort of a continuation of the last one. It was about “perspectives on the problem of evil”. This was just more philosophy, rooted around the age-old question of: If there is a God and He is a good God, why does He still allow evil and suffering to exist? or, If evil exists, God cannot be good, because a good God would eliminate evil and suffering.

Personally, I have never spent much time wondering about this. We know that the Fall corrupted our world and introduced sin & death to mankind. Suffering is part of that; and as to why God would allow it, I think that’s just part of free will. Adam & Eve had free will to choose in the Garden of Eden, but they made the wrong choice, and therefore the perfection of the Garden was marred and mankind was doomed to suffer in one way or another (the man having to do painful toil to get the land to yield fruit, and the woman to suffer great pains in childbearing – which apparently includes PMS, monthly period cramps, wild peri-menopausal symptoms and crazy menopausal symptoms as well. I have a bone to pick with God: He never said anything about all this other stuff! But I digress).

So it’s not that God doesn’t want to stop suffering, but it’s part of the ‘curse’ that came with the Fall, so it couldn’t be removed because once Pandora’s Box has been opened, you can’t stuff all those things back inside it once again. You can’t go back to the way things once were. That’s why we have the Redemption story and the sacrifice of Jesus.

Anyway, to get back to the lesson, apparently there are two ways of dealing with the problem of evil, one of which is ‘theodicy’ – trying to explain why an all-powerful, good God would permit evil to exist, or in other words, trying to vindicate God from accusations that He hasn’t eradicated suffering because He doesn’t care that people are suffering; the second is a ‘defense’ which argues that there’s no problem with a scenario where God and evil co-exist, that it’s logical for them to do so – therefore, the presence of evil doesn’t automatically negate the presence of a powerful and good God.

But, if we ask, How can evil exist if God is all-good and all-powerful?, first we need to know what ‘evil’ means. So then the class got a few interpretations of ‘evil’, from Augustine, Irenaeus, Reformed movement, and Heiser.

Augustine’s view is that evil is a defect or lack. Thus, everything that God creates is good (because He’s a good God) but then evil came in and caused a ‘defect’ – thus we have ‘natural evils’ where because we live in a “defective” world, there are natural disasters, diseases, and other things not directly caused by human actions; but we also have ‘moral evils’ which result from human choices and misuse of free will, such as when a person commits a crime. So the idea here is that God isn’t behind evil, it’s humans making wrong choices that lead to evil.

Irenaeus’ view is that evil and suffering are permitted because they aid in moral and spiritual development; after all, “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Rom 5:2-4). To Irenaeus, suffering contributes to sanctification.

The Reformed view comes from Calvin’s theology (::sigh::) whereby, if God is absolutely sovereign and has determined all that will happen, then evil exists within His plan and is ordained for divine purposes – but moral evil still arises from human choices and is not God’s fault. Compatibilism and all that (see week 6’s reflection).

Finally, Heiser’s view opposes Calvin’s in the sense that Heiser believed God does foreknow all things, but that doesn’t mean that those things are predestined; God can know all possible outcomes without ordaining them. The lecturer used the example of 1 Sam 23:9-13 where David asked God whether Saul would come to the city where David was, and God said yes. And then David asked whether the citizens would surrender David to Saul, and God said yes again. So David, being smart, left the city, and those incidents did not occur. The argument is that God has foreknowledge of what could occur, like, “If A happens, B will happen” but it is not predestined that either A or B will happen. Humans still have free will to decide, so one can decide not to do A after all, and then B will also not take place. In this way, free will (leading to possible evil) and divine omniscience can coexist, so God again allows humans to make the choices that may lead to evil.

I like Heiser’s explanation and Augustine’s view; I think that Irenaeus’ idea about God allowing suffering in order to help us to mature and grow spiritually was probably a ‘by the way’ thing, like in Rom 8:28-29 – in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose, because He wants us to be conformed to the likeness of His Son. Sin and suffering have entered the world, so He had to redeem this somehow as He is the Redeemer, and I guess He therefore decided, why not make use of it? lol

After that, we got into “the logical problem of evil” based on J. L. Mackie’s philosophical thought experiment, and Plantinga’s response. I don’t want to get into this too much, because it is too convoluted. It involves propositions which are challenged and then re-formulated. Like, it takes a statement such as, “There are no limits to what an omnipotent being can do” (thus God would have the power to do anything), then proceeds to challenge the statement: Can God do the logically impossible? Like create a square circle? If He can’t, is this a limitation on God’s part? Then maybe the statement should be amended with a qualification: “There are no non-logical limits to what an omnipotent being can do.”

So, like, since we say that God is good and therefore, we think that He should eliminate evil or suffering because He is good, that means we believe that a good being would always eliminate evil as far as it can. But let’s say that eliminating this evil would bring about a greater evil, or it would somehow end up eliminating a good as a side effect – a good that outweighs that evil. Then would eliminating the original evil still be the right thing for a good being to do? So maybe we shouldn’t assume that a good God ought to remove all evil for the sake of removing it. Maybe some evils can’t be removed without removing certain goods because life is rarely black and white, and people aren’t all bad either. Like a thief and swindler who is a caring father to his children.

Likewise, maybe God, being good, values free will – because He is good and therefore doesn’t want to force every being to toe His line. So in His eyes, freedom is of “greater value” than ensuring zero evil by forcing people to follow Him like robots, therefore it’s worth the risk of the possible evil that may arise if/when humans misuse this freedom. And that’s how we conclude that the existence of evil is logically compatible with a good, omnipotent God.

The thought process is really logical and relies heavily on reasoning, so it was easy to follow, and didn’t feel like one was trying to turn one’s brains into a pretzel to defend the indefensible (like Calvin’s determinisim and compatibilism). But still, it’s … so much in your head. It’s very intellectual. Like you’re living in your own head, you know?

I get that all of this is important for apologetics because the problem of evil and suffering is a big one that trips up a lot of non-Christians… but eh. I can do this kind of thinking & reasoning, but I don’t like it because I feel that it’s unhealthy to be too much in my own head. You get too removed from the real world, I think.

The average person who is upset about the problem of suffering is usually upset because either they themselves or someone they care about has experienced great suffering. These kinds of thought experiments aren’t going to help them, neither will they convince them. You cannot argue a person into the Kingdom of God. People who want to argue are people who are already entrenched and firm in their belief; their mind is made up, they are not seeking to be convinced otherwise. They just want to prove they are right.

Which means that, in the end, this kind of philosophical thinking & reasoning is mostly just for your own intellectual satisfaction. You want to understand, so you go reason it out. But in understanding, I don’t know if anything really changes. Sure, now I understand – in my head – how God and evil can co-exist and why it is perhaps not logical to expect a good God to remove all evil & suffering from the world purely due to the fact that He is good and should not be able to tolerate evil. But if I were wounded in this area (like, if I or a loved one had suffered greatly and I was upset with God as a result), I don’t think that understanding this intellectually would change how I felt. Feelings are rarely affected by logic.

So, I don’t really know what to do with this information. Yay, we reconciled the issue of trusting a good God who allows evil to be present in this world, because we now know (or think we know) that He values human freedom… even though He was aware that humans would misuse this freedom. Uh… ok, that’s great, but so what? I am reassured that I’m not a robot being manipulated like a pawn on a chessboard, but apart from that, I don’t see much practical value in this information…

Theology course: Week 7 reflection

This week’s lesson was on faith & science. I admit I rolled my eyes at the topic. Because, if God is Creator, then obviously He’s also the creator of science, right? He created the earth and everything in/on it, and science is a “careful study of the structure and behaviour of the natural world” (as per the Cambridge Dictionary) so obviously science must be compatible with Scripture. WHAT ACTUALLY IS THERE TO DEBATE?!?!?

By now you can probably tell that theological studies are not agreeing with me. I think I’m lucky I took this subject as an “experiment” instead of signing up for a Masters in Christian Studies or some other similar thing. We’re only halfway through (lesson 7 of 12) and I already want to quit. But… I also shouldn’t stick my head in the sand and maybe, just MAYBE I need to know some of this stuff – it might be good to know – so I’m gonna make myself stick it out. Urgh. Adulting does suck.

Anyway, there are apparently four models used to interpret the relationship between faith & science (or the lecturer chose to highlight four, maybe there are more – he did say that sometimes there are too many things to cover, so he has had to choose the most common or prominent theories/concepts). The four are: the conflict model, the independence model, the dialogue model, and the integration model.

The conflict model puts faith and science in conflict due to a literal interpretation of the Bible. Like, you believe that God really made the world in seven 24-hour days but it conflicts with what we know of evolution. The independence model sees faith & science as independent – separate fields of enquiry – and therefore the two don’t overlap; science focuses on the “how” of things (how things work), while theology focuses on the ”why” of things (meaning, purpose, and value). The dialogue model sees science & theology as informing each other due to shared concepts like the origin of the world and acknowledges the differences between the two. The integration model sees theology & science as integrated, i.e. “belonging to one truth” (quoting from the lecturer’s slides) – both form a single coherent picture. No prizes for guessing which model I’m in favour of.

Then we moved on to views of creation, namely how the “7 days of creation” are interpreted. ::sigh::

For me, if you start with the position that Scripture and science cannot be in conflict because God created science, then there must be a way to understand and interpret Scripture which allows us to see that it does not contradict what we know to be true. Therefore, the seven days of creation can’t be literal 24-hour days.

So, apart from the literal (or traditional) view, which I have just thrown out of the window, we have the “day-age” view, which is still somewhat literal as it takes 2 Pet 3:8 (“With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day”) and says maybe the “day” in Genesis is representative of a longer period of time; but the other two views see “day” as metaphorical – the symbolic view says maybe the “days” aren’t actual days; based on the literary structure used in Genesis, maybe the author was just using “days” to give us an idea of the various stages of creation, since we humans only understand chorological & linear time; the analogy view says the “worked for six days and rested on the seventh” thing is supposed to help us understand God’s pattern of work & rest (by using an analogy) and it isn’t even meant to really focus on creation at all. I’m really much more inclined to the symbolic view; I think it’s the most logical. I don’t think the analogy view makes sense because there is too much detail in each of the six “days”, which would be unnecessary if all the author wanted was to emphasise the need for rest after working for six “days”.

Next, the lesson went into creation vs. creationism and various views of creationism – attempts to interpret when the creation of our known universe actually occurred. This is also an attempt by theologians to reconcile the age of the universe and the earth (as have so far been proven by science) to what is written in the Bible. So, I was also meh about it because again, I’m convinced that science and Scripture cannot contradict each other. I’m quite happy to admit that I don’t understand how it all works but I do know that God’s Word is Truth, but we also know that not all of the Bible is literal (hello, Song of Solomon and Revelation) so WHY would we insist on reading the account of creation literally? Some people are just hard-headed… like the Israelites ::cough::

(I should not say that. Mana tau got plank in my own eye but pointing out the speck in others’ eyes. Aiyoyo. Repent, repent)

Anyway, I am starting to wonder if I’m deficient in some way, because CLEARLY, my classmates are extremely interested in all these theological theories and debates and have read up about the various viewpoints and had questions about them. Do I accept things too easily? Am I too credulous? Have I been sticking my head in the sand? Bleargh.

Together with views on creationism, we have views on Adam & Eve: Were they real people? Does all of humanity really only descend from a single couple? But science and genetics apparently have suggested that humanity descended from a population of several thousand, not a single pair – this I learnt from my lecturer, I didn’t know it prior. Ish, all these are pointless thought experiments to me. I understand why it is important to some people to resolve these so-called “discrepancies” or figure out how to harmonise scientific knowledge & what Scripture has written. But it just isn’t important to me.

We talked about ancient and modern cosmology – the understanding of the universe and how it works – because, the lecturer said, we need to understand the view of the time in order to read the OT in context and understand the imagery/descriptions used. He showed us this video, which was very interesting:

Then we covered biblical inerrancy: “hard inerrancy” which means that all the content of the Bible is inerrant – all historical and scientific information included in it is also considered to be inerrant; vs. “limited inerrancy” which holds that Scripture is inerrant in matters of faith and salvation, but it was not intended as a science textbook so it may not be accurate in matters of science and history.

I think the latter makes more sense. Yes, Scripture is inspired by God, but I think God’s purpose in giving us His Word would have been to help us understand how He relates to us and how He wants us to relate to Him – the story of salvation and redemption. I think He wouldn’t be that concerned with correcting the authors’ understanding about how various aspects of nature work. It doesn’t matter if they didn’t know how rain is formed and what causes heavy rains leading to flooding, as long as they knew that God has ultimate control over the elements and that He can decree rain or drought. So it makes sense that they would have wrote about these things based on their understanding at that time.