Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A is for annoyed

"Want to go to Puchong for lunch and eyebrow threading? I'll drive!" chirped my colleague.

Said colleague has been bugging me to thread my eyebrows FOREVER. And also bugging me to use make-up. Me, I go to work with a naked face. It's honest, it's easy, it's cheap. As for the eyebrow thing, I don't have a unibrow or fierce bushy eyebrows, so who cares?

Let me just clarify here: I've done threading before. It's not that I'm opposed to it. It's that I just couldn't be bothered to get it done regularly. Low-maintenance, that's me. I do dress up and do the accessorising thing (I love shoes and earrings btw) and I try to look pretty and presentable. But with a naked face! And natural eyebrows!

So anyway, in a moment of weakness, I caved and agreed to go with my colleague. You know every time you read "in a moment of weakness", the outcome's not gonna be good, right?

Right.

I tell the lady, "Don't make them too thin, just shape them." This has always worked for me before -- but of course, I went to a different place and person before. Guess what? Yeah. Now my eyebrows look like they were drawn on with a black marker. One with a thin nib.

"Oh, but you can fill them out with eyebrow pencil!" gushed colleague.

WHAT IS IT WITH WOMEN? You take out your perfectly good eyebrow hairs, then draw fake ones back in. What is the point?!

Just like how the orthodontist told teenaged-me I'd have to take out four perfectly good teeth in order to get braces in. I said no. My dad said, "Thanks for saving me four thousand bucks."

Back to my eyebrows -- because this post is about them, even though it's A and not E -- oh, they are now perfect little outlines of a semi-circle. They look freaking artificial. This is one of the things I hate about ridiculous conventional standards of beauty: you're beautiful only if you look like everyone else. We'd all be clones with high cheekbones, long legs, a slim waist (with no tummy! Which woman has no tummy, I ask you?!), long lustrous hair, thick long eyelashes, flawless glowing skin... oh, I could go on and on. I used to write advertorials for cosmetic companies. I know all the adjectives.

Of course, in times of stress the Voice of Mum™ always rings in your head. As a child, whenever I got a particularly bad haircut, my mother would always say, "Why are you upset? It'll grow back!" Yes, thank goodness my eyebrows will grow back. And in future I shall summarily glare at any woman who dares to suggest I thread them. Note how it's always the women who pressure you to do such things, not the men! Men couldn't care less about eyebrows, I'm sure. Unless you have eyebrows like a gorilla's -- wait, do gorillas have eyebrows? *goes off to google it*

9 comments:

bemuzin.com said...

Oh my, excuse me for laughing at your annoying experience. I think the same thing about women and those god-awful platform high, high heels they wear and can't walk in, let alone be comfortable in. WHO ARE THEY WEARING THOSE FOR??? I can honestly say eyebrow threading will never be on my bucket list and I've had my one and only mani-pedi. Cheers on making it through your first (excellent) A to Z Day!

A J said...

After reading this, I think the A for Annoying refers to the colleague who insists you remove your eyebrow so that you can pencil in fake eyebrows! Hilarious post! Can't wait for B :D
~ Amelia

Elizabeth Cardamone said...

This is great (not your messed up eyebrows, but the story!) I will be a follower once I finish this comment because you were so nice in your comment to me and I can see we have something in common (prefer unadorned face...do you paint your toe nails in the summer time? Last year, I stopped. I was tired of feeling like others would consider me unfeminine if I didn't. It was my way of rebelling.)

Sunflower said...

Sammy - Oh yes stiletto heels are the WORST! So painful, ouch. Why do women do these things to themselves?!

Amelia - She also keeps wanting to put make-up on me. I let her do it once (thank goodness it worked out well) which I fear might have given her a tad too much encouragement to go further!

Elizabeth - Thank you for following my blog! Here in Malaysia, it's summer all year round as we're very close to the equator... but I hardly ever paint my toenails. I don't have the patience to wait for the nail polish to dry. I'm always terrified of doing something to smudge or dent it, and then have to reapply all over again!

Tammy J Rizzo said...

Up until a few months ago, I had never heard of threading one's eyebrows. The first time I heard it mentioned, I had the horrifying thought that threading eyebrows involved needles and piercings and what not. Learning what it really was didn't help any, either!

I enjoyed your story, though I'm sure you did not enjoy your experience. This was an awesome start to the A to Z challenge!

Mary Hill said...

I love your first post. So funny, Sorry you had to be annoyed to write it. LOL I never tweezed my eyebrows. I go natural like you. :)

Mary-andering Creatively

Maggie Winter said...

Great post, gave me a good chuckle. I tried threading once...how did you stand the pain? I had to grin and bear getting the second one done but it was the best I every had them done...will I do it again, maybe!
The girls all have tummies in Brazil and they're not afraid to show them. I'm hitting fifty, fast, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but your eyebrows may stop growing...of cause mother nature make up for that nicely, it'll start sprouting from your nose and chin instead. Isn't life grand!
Enjoying the A to Z Challenge Maggie@expatbrazil.

Easter Ellen said...

... I get it! and funny enough, my post was titled "A - Annoying" ;)
www.easterellen.com

Sunflower said...

Tammy - Thanks! I'm quite fascinated by how they use the threads to tweeze out the hair. They work so fast and so accurately. Wonder how much practice it takes to get that good at it!

Mary - I would never tweeze them myself - with my luck I'd have them imbalanced and keep trying to adjust until I had no eyebrows left! haha

Maggie - It isn't too painful, it's similar to waxing (I wax my legs). My eyebrows might stop growing?! Oh no! All the more reason never to touch them again!

Ellen - Wow, great minds think alike! :)