My secret

When writing academic papers:

• Always use the appropriate jargon. It makes you sound knowledgeable and authoritative; this is 50% of the battle won.
• Look at other people's references to find relevant references you can use. References help to make you sound like you did lots of work and reading, and are familiar with previous work done in this field; this is another 20% of the battle won.
• Explain EVERYTHING -- the key words in your objective and research questions, why you chose that theoretical framework, why you chose that sample, why you chose that method of data collection, why you analysed the data in that manner, how you came to the conclusions you did, how your study is relevant or useful. Explanations make you sound like you have a basis for everything you say, which makes your findings and conclusions sound solid; this is yet another 20% of the battle won.
• Be sure your analysis is thorough, and that your findings make sense and are presented logically, in an orderly manner. This is the final 10% of the battle won.

And there you have it; that's the way I approach my papers. (You should remember I'm doing qualitative and not quantitative studies.)

The reason I put the analysis itself at 10% is because if you have great analysis but cannot explain it well, meaning you don't use the appropriate jargon and you don't explain everything properly plus you don't put it in context by having the correct references -- then your analysis will be useless.

I use language like a weapon.



*Found this on a now-defunct blog of mine. First posted on 10 April 2008, when I was knee-deep in coursework for my Masters!

Just how my brain works

The only things I ever purchase on impulse (apart from food) are books and shoes. The more money a thing costs, the more I think about it and do some research... because buyer's remorse is not a good thing. Especially if a product costs upwards of RM200.

So IKEA is having a sale. I don't know how others choose their furniture, but this is how I choose mine (click picture for larger view):


Yes, I know some measurements are in inches and others are in centimetres. That's because all of IKEA's measurements are provided in cm, and while I'm generally a metric girl, for some reason when I bought my apartment I measured everything in feet and inches. I've NO IDEA what came over me. Thank goodness for unit converters!

Love affair

Found myself using the words 'resurgence', 'amenable', 'inundated' and 'traipsing' in various bits of writing recently. Am pleasantly surprised and unaccountably proud of myself :p  Not that I planned to be bombastic, but the words slipped out naturally, prompted by the occasion, and that makes the word nerd in me applaud, lol!

Since I started teaching, I've been constantly simplifying my speech, seeking the most common, easy-to-understand words when explaining concepts to my students. Sometimes I fear I'm losing my command of English. I've always been able to wield words like a weapon when I want to, and reach into my quiver to select one with the precise nuance which will hit home and convey exactly what I want to convey. It's a gift I've had for as long as I can remember.

But it's also a gift that can't be appreciated by all and sundry. It'd go *whoosh* over my students' heads, for example! So sometimes I hold back. I do this instinctively if I feel the other person is at a linguistic disadvantage. It's my way of sort of levelling the playing field :)  We might not be jousting, but language is about communication, so to me it makes sense to use the most efficacious mode of communication, even if that might mean restricting myself to the 2,000 most frequently used words in the English language. Yes, there is a list. You can go google it ;)

It's just a car...

The problem with asking for advice is that sometimes the advice-giver is so... enthusiastic about it. So I really appreciated it when The Oracle said, "I'm just telling you this, but I won't be offended or think less of you if you choose to do something different," because that kind of reassurance is rare.

But now...! All I did was ask which brand of tyres I should consider, and this friend (not The Oracle) is trying to persuade me to change from 15-inch rims to 16-inch! And the price of 16-inch tyres is DOUBLE that of the 15-inch ones!

Sure, the car will handle better, although I'm wondering if I'll notice because, unlike some friends, I can't even tell the difference in engine performance when I pump different brands of petrol. It's petrol. It makes the engine run. The car moves. I get from A to B. Mission accomplished. I'm happy :p

I'm just not convinced that the additional financial outlay for the larger rims & tyres would be worth it to me. Which is quite apart from the fact that the expense would be considerably more than I've budgeted for. No doubt it's a 'nice to have', but is it a must-have? I hardly think so.

Now, how do I dissuade this extremely insistent friend?

Delving beyond

This was written by Patrick Lee, a friend of mine:

One of the greatest things about being a writer is that you get to find out how things are beneath the surface. How people are beneath the veneers that they present to the world around them. People aren't objects, but it is easy to label and condemn them as such; as insensitive beings devoid of mercy and compassion, dreams and hopes, feelings and wants. People are who they are because of various things: their upbringing, life and circumstance. When someone does something, there is always a reason for it. Nothing is truly random, except to those that don't understand or care. For behind every strange story, oddity or speck of so-called randomness is a story, and behind that an idea, and behind that a thought. It is up to us that write to collect these ideas and thoughts and stories and present them in a way that would answer whatever questions we have, and raise more hidden questions that need be asked. If we do not do this, if we do not dive beneath the surface and find the whys or whats or hows that lie within our deepest, darkest reaches, we do more than a disservice to ourselves, but we also condemn each other to wallow in a false contentment and an enforced helplessness. Ask, listen and then create.

As a journalist, one of the things I enjoyed the most was listening to people's stories. Because I was in features and didn't do hard news, I could afford to spend more time on interviews (except when interviewing celebrities!) and I learnt all kinds of interesting things from talking with various kinds of people from different fields.

To me, people are fascinating because they always have so much hidden beneath the surface. Every semester, on the first day of class, I look out at the sea of faces and wonder what each individual's story is -- who are they, really? -- and what will they be like? How will we get along? What kind of conversations and discussions will we have? As I quickly put names to faces, each one becomes a unique individual to me. Yes, sometimes it's tempting to think of a student as "that lazy boy who never does homework" or "that girl who keeps falling asleep in class", but it's not useful, and it isn't true. It isn't true because that's not all there is to the person, and as someone who always wants to know why, I keep thinking that if only I were able to reach a little bit farther into this one's mind and heart, perhaps I could discover the key which would spark his or her interest in learning, or discover the best way to motivate him or her.

Not 50-50

Having grown up in church and attended numerous weddings, I've heard countless sermons on marriage and the marriage relationship. Most of them are based on the Ephesians 5 passage which says both "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" as well as "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord." This submission thing doesn't sit well with some women!

I've heard a lot of good explanations about it but the one I read this morning has to be one of the best. I very much liked what the author, Dave, had to say: submitting to the husband doesn't mean the husband is boss. God is boss. Submission has nothing to do with someone being in an inferior position or less worthy of respect. Instead, it means "voluntarily yielding to another in love". As for the husband, loving his wife "just as Christ loved the church" means "taking the initiative in sacrificial, loving, servant-leadership to protect and to provide". NOT lording it over her and roaring, "What I say goes!"

Dave used the imagery of a dance to bring this point home. In a dance, the man leads and the woman follows. This doesn't mean the woman is weaker, or not able to think for herself. It also doesn't mean the man is superior, or knows better. They simply have different, but complementary roles, and mutually help each other to move to the rhythm of the music, sharing a common goal.

But this is what really made a light bulb go off in my head:

In His covenant with us, God says: “I will be your God and you will be my people. I will never leave you nor forsake you”. Marriage is also a covenant when we say to our spouse: “I will be your husband and you will be my wife. I will never leave you nor forsake you. All that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you.” It is something exclusive between a man and a woman and permanent for life. It is not a contract. In a contract, we say: “This is my part of the deal, I will do this and you will do that and if you do not do your part, the deal is off.” A contract is basically an agreement between two people for the purpose of protecting their rights and limiting their responsibilities. A covenant is an unconditional laying down of our rights, giving up our own agendas for the good of the other, for the happiness of the family before God.
(emphasis mine)

My mother once told me that the best marriage advice she ever received was that marriage is not 50-50. You cannot think, "I'll put in 50% and he'll put in the other 50%." No, it's 100% all the way. After reading what Dave wrote, I have a clearer picture of what she meant. Because, if you think the 50-50 way, you'll get upset when you think he hasn't done his 50%. It's natural for a wife to think, "He doesn't do this, why should I do that?" But it's not a deal, as Dave says. Not a contract. It's a covenant to give all of yourself to another.

I do urge you to go to Dave's blog and read the whole thing, because there's some other great stuff there, particularly when he explains what it means to be united and becoming "one flesh". His example of Starcraft II made me laugh out loud!

Be who you are

It's crucial to know who you are.

Over the past few years I've been thinking a lot about being vs. doing. In our Asian culture, we're very geared towards doing. Appearances -- "face" -- is important. Image is important, reputation is important. When it matters so much what people think, doing becomes the be-all and end-all. You have to be seen to do what is acceptable and praiseworthy... it's not about doing it because you are that kind of person, it's about doing it because you should do it or are expected to do it. Duty. Obligation. Responsibility. And lots of pressure.

We forget that doing ought to flow from being. If you are a generous person, you don't have to remind yourself to act in a generous manner; it comes naturally. And if you are not a generous person, but force yourself to be generous for whatever reason, you tend to resent it, to feel put upon, to struggle to give and let go.

Don't get me wrong, of course we need to cultivate good habits and there will be times when we have to make ourselves do things we do not want to do. There's still such a thing as doing what is right, and being human, we aren't always inclined to choose that particular path. So yes, I'm not saying that if you're not a generous person, it's a good excuse to hoard and keep all the goodies to yourself. But I'm saying, perhaps one should work on becoming a generous person, rather than work at cultivating the appearance of generosity.

But it's not just about what kind of person you are, it's also about who you were made to be -- your innate gifts and talents, your natural inclinations, your passion. When you listen to people advising teenagers about career choices, what do you hear? "Be a lawyer, you can make a lot of money." ... "Try medicine lah, you'll never be out of a job because there'll always be sick people." ... "Teacher also not bad, you get a lot of holidays."

See, "success" -- defined in this context as being financially stable and respected and enjoying a comfortable, if not luxurious lifestyle -- is something we think we should have, and we allow it to drive our decisions. But we're not thinking of who we are, who we were made to be. What happens? We end up in jobs we don't like, striving and striving, pushing ourselves, going through the daily grind and the rat race, climbing up the ladder, feeling exhausted and never quite satisfied. We feel we have to "get there", and however much we do it's never enough, however much we achieve it's never enough, however much we acquire it's never enough.

But if you know who you are, if you know what you were made to do, if your doing flows from being... your doing comes naturally, you are not striving, you feel you're in the place you are meant to be, doing what you're meant to be doing. There's joy, there's fulfilment, there's purpose. And peace. Above all, peace. Because you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Because it's not something you HAVE to do; it's something you WANT to do. You want it, not because you think you should or others say you should, but because it's part of you.

As a Christian, I think this is even more crucial because, if I truly believe that God has a plan for my life, I need to be who He has made me to be in order to fit into the destiny He has in mind for me. God's purposes for my life cannot be fully realised until I find my identity in Him and am doing what He made me to do, in the place where He's called me to be. That's because, if I'm uniquely crafted, I've been given specific talents and gifts, and I'll have an inclination towards certain fields or areas of interest; and if I fight these, or leave them to languish by the wayside in favour of more seemingly desirable achievements or skills, then how could I possibly be effective in the way He designed me to be?

So, identity is a big deal -- it's really important to me. To know who I am. To be true to myself. To be doing the things that God wants me to do. Not to simply go with the flow. Not to do what appears most logical or practical. Not to fall in with others' expectations of me or of what is acceptable and proper. Not to be seduced by the lure of "success" and money. Not to listen to those voices in my head that tell me I need to do more or be different in order to be significant and valued.

It's a struggle. Still a struggle, I would say, although less than before. But here's the point I've been trying to make: That core in you, the part that makes you uniquely you, was placed there by God. Why do we let other people, other things, tell us who we are supposed to be or who we should want to be? He made you. He knows you. His is the only voice you ought to be listening to. In Him, you will be most authentically yourself. And there's security there. Because, once you know who you are, you can never be shaken. Let people say what they want to say, and suggest what they want to suggest. You'll know you are doing what's right for you, and, deep within, a peace will settle over your heart. And I think God will look upon you and smile.